Just some old poetry I didn't want to lose

prosaic relinquishes to vibrant
banal blossoms to ambrosial
accustomed evolves to nihilism
despondancy surrenders to sensuality
existence succumbs to exaltation

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Whirling Dervish

Spinning down to my ground
From nighttime hook-clouds
Taffeta and crinoline
Darting hither and yon
Jumpy and OCD
Worried about this
about that
about nothing

It makes no sense
To sweep while the dervish whirls
Kick up all the dust
Spin and spin and spin
In your emotional vortex

We will clean
We will talk
When the dust quiets, when you tire
When the dervish ceases whirling

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the rain came down
washing away years of
sadness

lost loves

missed opportunities

last chances

goodbyes

broken hearts

clean water from the sky

a fresh view

hopes

desires

possibilities

loves

freedoms

---------------------------------------

I felt alive yesterday, and it gave me the creeps
Too many things rushing in... happiness, satisfaction, things I am not used to
There are people that I miss horribly
(She isn't one of them V)
But I wasn't thinking about them... I wasn't mourning
I actually caught myself smiling for no particular reason
Not the kind of thing I normally do
Not the kind of thing I am used to
I sat around a table with people I didn't know
Listening to them talk about what is going on in their lives
Not knowing anything about them
Not understanding what they were talking about
Feeling a part of their lives... an invited voyeur
I felt good. Happy. Content.
I wasn't thinking about my problems, my troubles, my oh-so-epic woes
I let them go. Liberating. Freedom.
It was almost an out of body experience... an out of caring experience
Nothing was bothering me, bugging me, making me want to cry, shout, scream
----
There are things I miss about my life
I used to be kinda cool
I had some pretty hip friends... we talked about everything
All the things you aren't supposed to talk about in polite company
Religion, Politics, sex.
My mind was always working overtime to keep up with them
Pumping mental iron
We probably looked pretentious... but we didn't care.
Life was ours... we had it by the balls, and we squeeeeeeeeeeeezed
Then shit got crazy
Things got in the way
Bills, mortgages, Insurance???
Jobs, committees, meetings, meetings about meetings, deadlines, meetings about deadlines
What the hell happened?
Did I grow up?
I don't remember doing that....
I mourned the passing of those days, the passing of my life
I wore the death of who I was as a heavy coat in August
It beat me down. I let who I used to be kill who I was.
Then I said... "enough"
----------
I found my life again. I am kinda cool again.
My friends are hip... I just hadn't noticed
They stuck by me during the bad times... you can't get much cooler than that
As I sat and cried and gnashed my teeth, they didn't give up on me like I had
The world has begun to turn for me. Doors that I thought were closed
Have opened and I feel that familiar foreign glow
Creativity has begun to pulse through me
Painting, writing, loving... they looked at me from the neglected corners of my mind
And said "Where you been, man? We've been waiting for you to get back."
Life is still mine. All I have to do is
Squeeze.

----------------------------------------------------

Bhutto & Bethlehem

I have stopped saying "things can't get any worse". The insane world that we live in continually proves that they can.

As I was almost out the door for work this morning, the local news broke away to a national story that Benazir Bhutto had been killed by a homicide bomber in Pakistan. I make no professions as to being an expert on Pakistani politics, but obviously someone felt that she was too big of a threat to be allowed to live. Was she going to be good for Pakistan? Who knows for sure. She had been removed twice prior due to charges of corruption and various other scandals, but according to the rule of the region, she needed to die. Over a hundred others joined her in death. I do not understand how people think when they feel the need to do such things. There are politicians here in the US that I am vehemently opposed to ideologically, but I would NEVER think that blowing them, myself, and whoever happened to be in the area to smithereens is a viable political expression. I hope that the political process takes care of that in the voting booth.

*Despite the fact that I think that Presidents are anointed, not elected, I don't buy into the barking moonbat theory that voting booths are rigged. I think they are just ignored when the results are not convenient. More on that later as the political season progresses*.

My cynical side says that this is another nail in the coffin of civility, reason, and human progress. Who will be willing to take up the cause that Bhutto died for? Will anyone? The need for people like her is so great in so many places, yet the forces arrayed against those like her are legion. I recall the assassination of Anwar Sadat. His bodyguards pulled that one off. Same with Indira Ghandi. It took years for someone willing to stand up and say "I believe that what I am doing is right, and I will risk my life for it." Unfortunately, there are far too many nameless, faceless unknowns who are willing to strap on a bomb for their cause, far more than those who are willing to face the difficult task of overcoming obstacles and trying to invoke change. Once the election is over, the hard work begins for them. For the attacker, the hard work is over when the Sans-A-Belt bomb slacks are detonated. There are no repercussions for them. They don't have to see the carnage they have wrought. I don't know if Bhutto would have had a positive or negative impact on Pakistan had she lived. All I do know is that it's a pretty safe bet that we'll be seeing a lot more blood in the streets there now that she's gone.

As bad as the Bhutto assassination made me feel, I was also treated to something that amounted to a sucker punch to the pills when I saw a story out of Bethlehem. Apparently the Church of the Nativity is a major attraction at this time of year. Yes, I am aware that this is blindingly obvious. Today, as the priests who maintain the church were preparing to clean after the Christmas rush, a fight broke out. Among the priests. Time for a little background info. The Church of the Nativity is believed to be the place where Jesus was born, hence the name. The church is administered jointly by Greek Orthodox, Roman Catholic, and Armenian Apostolic authorities, each of which controls a part of the holy site, and these areas are guarded rather "zealously". When the Greek Orthodox priests put up a ladder to clean their area, it apparently encroached into the Armenian Apostolic zone, and the Armenians didn't like this none too much. So, in the spirit of Christian brotherhood, they went at it. A donnybrook, dust-up, rumble in the nave, whatever you want to call it ensued. For approximately 15 minutes, these priests went at it with fists, brooms and iron rods. "As usual the cleaning of the church afer Christmas is a cause of problems," Bethlehem Mayor Victor Batarseh said, adding that he has offered to help ease tensions. It looks like the efforts of the good mayor went for naught. As I read this, I couldn't help but wonder if, indeed, the whole world is going to hell in a handbasket. My friend tells me that he believes that the goodness in the world will triumph, and that there will be a renaissance of the human spirit. I hope he is right. Perhaps we can start by never having a Brawl in Bethlehem again.

First Draft

I make no promises on quality of content, it's agreeability quotient, or whether or not it will be updated regularly, but these are my thoughts, and you are welcome to them.