Just some old poetry I didn't want to lose

prosaic relinquishes to vibrant
banal blossoms to ambrosial
accustomed evolves to nihilism
despondancy surrenders to sensuality
existence succumbs to exaltation

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Whirling Dervish

Spinning down to my ground
From nighttime hook-clouds
Taffeta and crinoline
Darting hither and yon
Jumpy and OCD
Worried about this
about that
about nothing

It makes no sense
To sweep while the dervish whirls
Kick up all the dust
Spin and spin and spin
In your emotional vortex

We will clean
We will talk
When the dust quiets, when you tire
When the dervish ceases whirling

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the rain came down
washing away years of
sadness

lost loves

missed opportunities

last chances

goodbyes

broken hearts

clean water from the sky

a fresh view

hopes

desires

possibilities

loves

freedoms

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I felt alive yesterday, and it gave me the creeps
Too many things rushing in... happiness, satisfaction, things I am not used to
There are people that I miss horribly
(She isn't one of them V)
But I wasn't thinking about them... I wasn't mourning
I actually caught myself smiling for no particular reason
Not the kind of thing I normally do
Not the kind of thing I am used to
I sat around a table with people I didn't know
Listening to them talk about what is going on in their lives
Not knowing anything about them
Not understanding what they were talking about
Feeling a part of their lives... an invited voyeur
I felt good. Happy. Content.
I wasn't thinking about my problems, my troubles, my oh-so-epic woes
I let them go. Liberating. Freedom.
It was almost an out of body experience... an out of caring experience
Nothing was bothering me, bugging me, making me want to cry, shout, scream
----
There are things I miss about my life
I used to be kinda cool
I had some pretty hip friends... we talked about everything
All the things you aren't supposed to talk about in polite company
Religion, Politics, sex.
My mind was always working overtime to keep up with them
Pumping mental iron
We probably looked pretentious... but we didn't care.
Life was ours... we had it by the balls, and we squeeeeeeeeeeeezed
Then shit got crazy
Things got in the way
Bills, mortgages, Insurance???
Jobs, committees, meetings, meetings about meetings, deadlines, meetings about deadlines
What the hell happened?
Did I grow up?
I don't remember doing that....
I mourned the passing of those days, the passing of my life
I wore the death of who I was as a heavy coat in August
It beat me down. I let who I used to be kill who I was.
Then I said... "enough"
----------
I found my life again. I am kinda cool again.
My friends are hip... I just hadn't noticed
They stuck by me during the bad times... you can't get much cooler than that
As I sat and cried and gnashed my teeth, they didn't give up on me like I had
The world has begun to turn for me. Doors that I thought were closed
Have opened and I feel that familiar foreign glow
Creativity has begun to pulse through me
Painting, writing, loving... they looked at me from the neglected corners of my mind
And said "Where you been, man? We've been waiting for you to get back."
Life is still mine. All I have to do is
Squeeze.

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